The Sigficance of Inanimate Objects

My mum gave a ring to me years ago when I was about to depart to the UK. I was barely 18 then. She said that I should wear it all the time so that whenever I feel down or lost, the ring would remind me that she would be there for me all the time.

I didn’t take it into heart initially. I thought it was a bit weird to be seeking comfort from an inanimate object, let alone a small silver ring. I didn’t even fancy the pattern back then.

Over the years of being a student in the UK, the ring was subjected to a mixture of attention and neglect. When I was happy and cheerful, the ring would be lost somewhere in my pile of junk or in a storage box in the closet. I would carry on with my mundane everyday tasks and pursuits until I completely forgot about the ring. Strangely, I would come across the ring again, when I needed it the most.





As I entered employment back in 1998, the ring was lost again. By this time, I was 23 and was extremely eager to get myself established in the UK. I was very young and had nothing to lose.

Things were tough at first and I had to settle for an unfurnished studio flat in the outskirts of Hertfordshire. I had to use a sleeping bag, which was inherited from my elder sister, as I couldn’t even afford to buy a bed yet back then. I remembered the countless cold nights where I would be staring at the ceiling wondering how my life would turn out in the following weeks, months and even years. I began to think of my sole purpose of staying behind in the UK, whereas all my friends decided to go back home to start their lives.

A year passed by and there were no significant changes, at least none of the ones that I wanted. I thought that it was a good time to go home. After all, I had given it my best and the experience was more then plentiful.

My employers didn’t want to let me go and offered me better pay. I was reluctant at first because I thought I had enough taste of working in the UK. I agreed to extend my employment for a further six months, and after that went by, for another six months.





By this time, the change that I sought had materialised. The year 2000 marked a significant time for me.

And it was then, that I made the decision to permanently reside in the UK.

I moved to central London and found my ring again. I began to realise the significance of this ring. I can only assume that my mum had intended to be that if I were to be so far away and become successful one day, I would never forget who it was that made it possible for me to be there in the first place. I'm sure everybody out there has a similar inanimate object that they hold close to their hearts.

Five years have gone by now. I’ve got my own place, I’m the head of my department, and I’m earning pretty well. My employers provide me with a mobile phone and company car. I can afford fancy clothes and high-tech gadgets. I have everything that I could ever need.

And yet, these are the things that matters least to me.

The change that I had sought all this time, never really materialised.

I thought it did for a little while, but perhaps I wasn’t ready then....


....or did it?








Somebody told me today that the blog world is a place for tortured souls.

Could that be true? Is that why I'm still here?


I’m really hoping....


....for another change.