Why can't we all just get along

I was at the local supermarket earlier today when I saw a copy of Maxim on the magazine shelves. It was May 2006's issue and had MTV UK presenter Emma Griffiths in black bikini on the front cover.  *SCHWINGGG!!!*

To my utter disappointment, there was an old age pensioner lingering nearby and I wasn't prepared to give him a nasty heart attack by flipping through the magazine to my heart's content.  So I thought I'd satisfy my hormonal needs curiosity next door at WH Smith.  Now don't get me wrong, Miss Griffiths has the most sensational pair of....... eyes *cough* *cough*.

At WH Smith next door, the magazine was nowhere to be found and I really didn't want to sound dodgy presumptuous by asking the lady shop assistant.  I scoured the magazine shelves row by row, and as I squat down to investigate the bottom shelf one last time, I noticed the shop assistant approaching a potential customer nearby;

"Excuse me, sir.  I'm afraid you can't stand here."

The man (who strongly resembled UK celebrity Interior Designer, Laurence Llewellyn-Bowen), with an open magazine in his hands, seemed confused initially as he wasn't sure what the shop assistant was trying to say.

"Well where am I supposed to stand then?", he barked.

"Perhaps in the library?", was her short reply.

"Uh-oh", I thought to myself.  From where I was squatting, the man appears to be holding a gardening magazine.  By this time, he'd realised what the shop assistant was hinting at.

"Excuse me?", he said.

"People would normally come in, buy what they want and leave...", the shop assistant tried to explain.

There were only two potential customers in the store at the time; only him and me.  I mean, the man wasn't really bothering anyone, why can't just leave him be?

"But how am I supposed to know it's any good if I don't look at it first?", the man retaliated.

It was beginning to feel really awkward.  Had there been a copy of Maxim on the shelves, would the shop assistant come up to me and tell me off as I skimmed through the magazine?  In my years of living in the UK, I have never come across this incident happening at a popular stationery store before. I can understand had it been a small and cramped premise, where standing and reading a magazine could potentially be a safety hazard.  But no, there was ample space all around.  So what was the shop assistant's problem then?

In any case, I couldn't be bothered to stay and find out.  So I bailed.

Miss Griffiths' "eyes" will just have to wait another day.

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