Big Boys DO Cry

I remember the numerous tips I hear from people to stop you from crying when chopping onions; some sound (breathe in with your mouth and exhale through your nose), some very technical (cut along the veins not across it), some just plain ridiculous (hold a piece of bread in your mouth).

As I was cutting a fresh Spanish onion earlier this evening, a thin stream of tears were falling from my eyes, down to my face, quivering on my chin.. before falling onto my shirt.

The truth of the matter is, yes, I do cry.

I have been crying a lot the last couple of months.

Not necessarily while chopping onions either.

We men have been told a lie... a total fabrication, that it’s somehow not "manly" to express emotion. I think it comes from insecurity really, men who feel it’s unmanly to cry are actually afraid of their own emotions, so they simply project this insecurity onto others. Of course, it’s a lot easier said than done.. it’s very hard expressing emotions especially since we men have been fooled into this believe that it’s only something girls should do. It requires some unlearning and a healthy dose of “This stinks! I’m not going to keep this bottled up! To heck with it!!”

There is a general cultural notion to be happy, stay happy, and don't ever let sad feelings show, and if you do, it is bad. For whatever reason, that's the information we're given in harrowing situations like death, divorce, and others.

People give well-meaning advice about moving on or whatever, because they don't want to see you suffering. But it's very important to allow yourself the time you need to just feel sad. It's a sad situation, so sadness is the appropriate feeling. Or anger, or betrayal, or frustration, etc. Whatever it is, it's okay.

If we let ourselves experience all those feelings, cry, and work through it, it's much healthier for us and maybe even gets us through a little quicker because we're dealing with it head on. If you put on a happy face and pretend everything is okay, it just prolongs the agony.

Things are NOT okay, but maybe they will be later.

If you hold it in it will come out eventually much like a toilet getting clogged inside your heart, spilling out stinking, nasty, waste all over the place..

Holding it all in will be poisonous to your soul..

It will make you bitter, resentful, and dark..

So guys..

Listen up..

It’s okay to cry..

Really..










It's just your heart doing spring cleaning..