New Year Reflections

Morning of a new year

Well, that’s it for 2004. What a year. I almost forgot how I spent last year's New Year. I was back home with my family. It was a great moment. I hope to see them again very very soon.

After last night's brief anxiety attack, I came to realise that a few significant things that happened in 2004.

1) I became closer to my sister -
She spent three months here and we shared and talked about our thoughts and ideas. We have never bonded this much before. Strange how as we grew older and further apart, we appreciate each other more. Now she's back home and I miss her to bits.

2) I tell my mum everything now -
My mum worries about me all the time and because of this, I hide certain things from her. I guess I just wanted her to know that her son is doing ok so far away. Alas, I came to realise that this is not right. I have learnt that you should not hide things from the person who gave you life. If you can't talk to your own mum, who else is there?

3) I let people be aware of my feelings -
I used to keep everything inside me. When I feel angry, upset or sad. That is not healthy. One way or the other, those feelings will eventually build up and explode when you least expect it. You might end up hurting a loved one. I've learned that if I'm not happy about anything, I let people know about it. It is still something that is very hard for me to do and I'm still getting used to it. But it helps me and those around me understand myself a lot better and perhaps, learn to appreciate me for myself.

But I’ve done a lot of reflecting on the events of 2004. I want to think about 2005.

1) Make more friends whom I can be myself around, whom I don’t feel out-of-place around. People who understand who I am and accept it. I want to be more than the chap who knows a lot about computers. I want to be someone who’s fun to talk to, someone who cares, someone who helps, someone who is a friend of the kind I’m looking for.

2) I want to travel. Anywhere. Any place. To see and feel what the world has to offer.

3) I hope to keep this blog going.

That's what comes to mind right now.

I don’t know how they are going to happen. At some level I believe it will, though; I have to believe.